Down in the Weeds

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.     Psalm 33:11

I’m not a huge fan of details.  They overwhelm and, quite frankly, annoy me.  I completely understand the necessity of paying them heed, but I’d really rather leave them to someone else’s attention.  Besides, mind them too much and you “miss the forest.”  Get too far “down in the weeds” (to mix metaphors) and you lose perspective and focus.

I like the forest. I don’t like weeds.

I like to know where I am in relation to where I’m going.  As long as I can see the plan and purpose, I can handle tough, rocky circumstances because this is all part of that to get me there.  But lose that vision, and I feel lost, aimless, and overwhelmed.

There are times when God lights the path before us, making it obvious and understandable.  Other times, he’s not so obliging.  And we face each day unsure of where we are, where we’re going, where we should be going, or how to find purpose or otherwise make sense of the circumstances in which we find ourselves.  We can no longer see the forest because there are too many darn trees in the way.

For a long time, my journey was an illuminated one.  I was confident in my path and purpose.  His plan was apparent—until suddenly it wasn’t.  And that’s when I found myself down in the weeds, overwhelmed and confused by the details of a life that had, quite abruptly, ceased to make sense.  I found myself simply managing life (as a wife and mother, a lawyer and part-time professor, an active church member and deacon) without any sense of purpose.  I simply no longer knew how or why or where I fit.  I felt lost.

Nothing seems more pointless, or lacking in purpose, than being lost.

Except in a backward Kingdom, where being lost is one of the best ways find God’s plan and purpose for your life.

The problem is, being lost isn’t easy. It actually takes a lot faith to be lost, and stay lost.  To cease insisting that God explain Himself and once again reveal with clarity your place and purpose in His plan.  To walk without knowing.  I wish I could say it was a lesson I learned effortlessly or a faith possessed instantaneously, but it wasn’t—it almost never is with me.  It took a few years, but I finally discovered that somewhere deep down (and I do mean way deep down) there is wisdom in those weeds.

It was down in the weeds I found that my purpose isn’t a what, it’s a who.  The plan isn’t a path, it’s a person.  I don’t need a destination, I need a determination and dedication to the person of Jesus Christ.  Because only then am I truly able serve whomever, wherever, whenever and for whatever purpose God plans.